
I was sitting down to enjoy a nice grilled hot dog the other day and went to apply the normal condiments when I remembered a new ketchup I purchased.
There are two things that I’m a sucker for that, if I ever see in the store I have a compulsive urge to purchase. The first is gum. I am a gum enthusiast. Any flavor, at any time. If I happen to notice a new gum in the check out aisle, you can bet I’ll be throwing it with everything else. The other somewhat unusual purchase I make is “anything” and “everything” that is spicy. So if I see a jalapeno flavored cheese or meat, you can bet it’ll be in my cupboard that day. I’ve even purchased a jalapeno flavored lollipop.
So the other day I was at the store and happen to notice a habanero ketchup bottle. This was an instant hit in my mind. The right amount of tomato with the soul of a habanero. Why has it taken so long to come up with this? I threw it in the cart without even thinking.
So, yesterday I sat down to enjoy a hot dog with some jalapeno mustard and some habanero ketchup. I squeezed out the mustard (another compulsive buy that has paid off big time!) and then noticed something that never caught my attention before. The ketchup is housed in a glass bottle. I begin to shake and pop the bottle, carefully easing this mixture of spice and condiment out to my hot dog bun.
It’s not coming out.
I shake even harder (actually straining muscles now)… and nothing. I then have to get a knife (which barely fits through the opening) and slowly scoop out the ketchup. The whole process takes me 3-5 minutes before I’m enjoying the hot dog.
My question is simply this. Have we really decided to move back up the evolutionary ladder and return to glass containers? Has the “squeeze” bottle not been a giant leap for man kind? Do we really want to “scoop” and “shake” again? I’ve noticed this in many restaurants still. Is this an economic choice? Does ANYONE prefer the glass container over an easy squeeze bottle? Oh, sure it sounds cheap to have plastic over glass, but we’re talking about an event that should take 5 seconds out of day. Is it nostalgia? Do older folks sit around and talk about the “good old days” and how, “thank god, we still have glass ketchup”? Maybe if the item was good enough to warrant the extra work. But it’s ketchup. Seriously?
So it gives me great pleasure to begin the petition to hereby cease and assist with all glass condiment containers. I don’t care if that’s what you grew up with, or you want to maintain your “rebel” look by going against the flow. We’ve moved past this… WAY past this. And while I’m at it, can we please toss the plastic toilet seats that my grandma had back in 1985! When I sit down on a toilet seat it shouldn’t make any noise… or stick to you when you want to leave.
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